Combating Homesickness

Don’t get me wrong, I was bouncing off the walls with excitement to go to college. All the new friends, the beach less than five minutes away, warm weather, the list goes on. But it’s a commitment to completely leave your comfortable and loving life behind. How was I supposed to fit all of my clothes in two suitcases? What do I do about room decor? Has anyone from my high school ever gone to UCSD? The answers were all simply “I don’t know.” Luckily, I have a support system like no other that made me survive this scary move, but I couldn’t imagine what I would’ve done without them. It’s really hard leaving everyone and everything you know. While I may not have had the best strategy to bring all of my things with me, I can shed some light on how to deal with homesickness.

I always knew I wanted to move far from home when applying to schools, but it still was a struggle when the time came to say goodbye to my life in New Jersey. I was strong and excited all up until the moment I said bye to my parents in San Diego. They dropped me off at the top of the hill down to Black’s Beach where my two friends that I had known for two days came to get me and walk back down the steep hill with me. I hadn’t felt sad up until the moment I hugged my parents goodbye and immediately started balling my eyes out. I guess it just hadn’t hit me how much change was really about to take place. Luckily, I immediately retreated to my new friends and was able to stop, but for a few days, I struggled until I adjusted to my new life.

Calling my mom became a daily occurrence. Her filling me in on the details of her day and the drama back home made me feel connected to my life on the east coast. Of course, I had a lot of exciting firsts to share with her as well and she was nothing but supportive. I’d say a necessity for battling homesickness is having someone from home, whether that be a family member or friend, that will spend time on the phone with you. It’s just nice to feel connected in some ways.

Some off days would come that were especially bad of course. I feel like whenever I had a bad day in San Diego, it sent me into a spiral until I had a pit in my stomach that screamed “I MISS HOME.” Sometimes even when I’m in New Jersey but not in my immediate home and something makes me feel uncomfortable I still feel this pit. There is no way to get rid of it except by doing something that makes me feel “normal” or safe. For me, I used to play a LOT of Candy Crush. I think I’m on level 5,000 something but I stopped playing a while ago. Whenever I had that weird pit in my stomach I would pick up Candy Crush. My grandma also plays a lot of Candy Crush and we mutually decided the game was relaxing to us and simply part of our daily routine. I think this could also come in the form of turning on your favorite feel-good TV show, or anything else that can help soothe you.

One of my best friends is abroad right now and came to me about how she’s feeling homesick. I understand her because it’s hard to leave your life behind, especially when you have people that mean a lot to you and are your rock back at home. My advice for her was to try to put it aside and focus on making memories because one day she’s going to look back at what should be an experience of a lifetime and she wants to remember all the new and exciting things that she did. So I think overall that is how I would battle homesickness. Sort of fake it till you make it. Try to be optimistic and force yourself to try new things until you are comfortable and feel like that’s part of your new life and routine. Even as I’m gearing up to go abroad now, I know I will struggle at times. But I also know that living in Europe for a semester won’t be something I get the chance to do again and I need to take advantage of my time there. Change is always hard but essential if you want to experience new things and the only way to battle it is to push through. Crying in a ball won’t get you anywhere or force any growth, but pushing yourself through the hard times will always have a positive outcome.