Opening a New Chapter and Closing an Old One

As I’ve been preparing to move to Spain, I’ve been thinking about the person that I want to be while I’m there. I hope to be the most confident I’ve been while I’m there because life is too short to over-analyze myself and be anxious. With this, I’ve taken time to reflect on myself and think about the traits that I want to work on.  

While putting thought into who I want to be while I’m there, I’ve done a lot of reflecting on my time at UCSD. For the most part, it has been great. But I also went through some rough phases and it’s those phases that I reflected on the most. I’ve come up with some advice I would give my college underclassman self that I’d also like to share with all of you.

Some People Aren’t Your People

Something that I learned during my sophomore and freshman years was that it’s impossible to be best friends with everyone. In high school, I didn’t deal with conflict often. There were the little things, but I never stopped being friends with anyone entirely. I think this is because I was with the same people from middle school to the end of high school and we all grew and matured together. In college though, we come in as developed people. With this, there were some people that I thought I would be really close with when first meeting them, but after getting to know them better it became evident to me that they just weren’t my cup of tea and I wasn’t theirs. And this was really hard for me to come to terms with. I honestly did have some conflicts with these people and I feel like had I come to terms with the fact that not everyone is compatible, we would’ve eased out of trying to be in each other’s lives without trouble. At the end of the day, people have differences such as morals and lifestyles which can keep us from being harmonious. 

Be Prepared For Change

During my freshman year at UCSD, I developed a really tight group of friends. We hung out every day whether it was just chilling in someone’s dorm, grabbing food, going to the beach, you name it. Over the summer before sophomore year, I didn’t see them because we all live in different places but I still never thought we would drift apart. As my sophomore year began to unfold, there were some conflicts and just drifting in general that happened and we didn’t really come out as strong as we were before. Luckily I still am super close with all of my amazing roommates, but the whole group isn’t very tight anymore. This was hard for me for a while. Change in general can be really hard. 

Looking back, I realize that this drift opened up room for a lot of other friendship opportunities. I did make a lot of new friends and probably would’ve made more if I had been more open to the change. This is just one example of change in college but overall, being able to be flexible is a great trait and can make moving around and making friends a lot easier. When reflecting on my past travel experiences I also talk about how flexibility is important. I’d say it’s a great trait in all circumstances but also having control is important. Keep in mind that you should find a balance between when to be flexible and when to stand your ground though (don’t be a pushover). 

Build Relationships

During the last quarter of my sophomore year I mainly took upper-division business classes and a common theme throughout the courses was the importance of networking. This summer I interned at the Chamber of Commerce where networking is the whole point! Some advice I would give my sophomore year self would be to make as many friends as possible inside classes, at my job, literally anywhere, and also create connections with my professors and TAs (read “Office Hours – Are They Worth Your Time”). Even if these people don’t end up being helpful connections in the future, it is a great practice to work on your social skills when trying to build any connections. 

For a few weeks, I had a little game with my friend where we would make it a goal to make three new friends from our classes a week. This ended up being really fun for us and it was helpful to have friends in our classes and to practice our social skills in general. I wish it was something that I kept up on and from now on I’m going to make it a goal too! This is especially important because at times I would feel like I had hit a roadblock socially and wanted to start meeting new people. At the time I thought I had to meet people at social gathering settings but I realize that meeting people anywhere is fun and fills that want. 

Go With the Flow

I often found myself hoping for a super fun and spontaneous night where I stay up talking with my friends till the crack of dawn but the thing is, I was always way too stressed about getting enough sleep or whatever was to come the next day to stay up all night. I would advise myself to be way more spontaneous. Although routine and being prepared for things makes me feel good, it’s not how I create memories. I know that in Barcelona my schedule is going to go out the window whether I like it or not and I am prepared to take on the “go with the flow” mentality. While routine is important at times, a balance between the two is the key to happiness in my opinion. 

You Are Who You Surround Yourself With

From the wise words by Jim Rhon, “You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.” I do think that I did an excellent job of this in my sophomore year. My best friends at school are my ride-or-dies (you guys know who you are). So this is less of a lesson for me and more of a reminder as I continue to move to new places and surround myself with new people. 

My amazing roommates that I love so much <3

I hope I was able to share some advice or remind you of some things that you may have needed to hear at this point in your life. No matter the phase of life you are in, these are all important things to keep in mind. As I close my underclassman chapter at UCSD and open this new chapter abroad, I hope to embrace my confidence and integrate these things into my every day so that I can have the best experience in Europe.